Blow the fucking fish out of the water!

I am LIVID!  I don't even know where to start this post.  All I can say is good thing my "friends" don't read this blog!  Remember way back when I posted about my friends being drama queens?  You should because it was like four hours ago.  Apparently WE are the ones that cause the drama???  Heaven help me... I'm about to take some people out at the knees!

Here's the story.  G is friends this guy... we'll call him A.  A has a hard time staying in a relationship because he's too damn possessive.  He gets super jealous and starts bull-shit fights with his girls.  He's not mean or abusive, just retarded (I know, I know... not PC but throw me a frickin' bone... I'm PISSED!).  I know this first hand because one of my BFFs is his ex.  A is the only single one in my circle of friends.  Well, once upon a time, A started dating S.  S is a bitch.  I can also say this because I also found that out first hand.  A while ago, G and I had a party and A brought S.  When they showed up to OUR party at OUR house, I was drunk.  It was MY party at MY house, I felt I was entitled.  I think I'm a fun drunk.  I don't cry, puke, pass out, fall over... not sloppy.  I have fun.  I party, sing, dance, laugh, have a good effing time.  In fact, I believe I carry myself so well, one wouldn't know I was wasted on first impression.  Do you get it?  Are you on my side (you better be!)?  Well, apparently S doesn't enjoy partaking in alcoholic beverages.  To top it off, we all went to the boobie bars that night.  A used to frequent them pre-S.  He also used to drink like a fucking fish.  Since he started dating bitchface S, he turned into pussy-whipped, bitchface A.  Well, shocker shocker, S doesn't like the boobie bars.  Did they HAVE to come?  No.  Would we have been mad if they didn't?  Hell no.  I get that it's not everyone's thing... I used to HATE them (until I went).  BUT, S told A that she didn't get a good first impression of us because she though G was mean and I was a sloppy drunk.  Needless to say, we don't like S.  BUT, we never told A that AND we made an effort to be nice to her when we all got together. 

A turned 30 last weekend.  He and S also broke up.  She ended up coming to A's b-day bash though.  She just sat on the couch and was anti-social the whole time.  G and I were having fun with our other friends and not really giving two shits about what she and A were doing.  A actually sequestered himself as soon as she got there.  He became her little lap dog and didn't really talk to us the rest of the night.  In fact, if I showed my face on here, I could prove to you that I was having fun from all of the pictures!  UGH, she's such a bitch.

We have literally hung out with A and S together a total of THREE times!  Now all of a sudden, G gets a nasty email from A saying that WE are jealous and crap like that!  I am just so pissed off right now!  I don't get jealous of ANYONE!  I am very secure and have great self-esteem.  I am happy with who I am and am in love with G.  He and I are a perfect match!  Why the hell would I get jealous of some fattish bitch??  OH, and here's the kicker, she CRIED real humanish tears because she said G was giving her dirty looks all night and I was being flirtatious with A!  I am a flirtatious person.  I flirt with guys and girls alike.  basically, I flirt with any and everyone.  G doesn't care.  He knows that he is the one I'm going home with.  In fact, he's a pretty big flirt, himself!  I can not STAND insecure people!

So here we sit... getting ready to go on a week-long trip with these douchebags.  Hip hip hooray.

"Stop thinking, start drinking!" -Gia Maria

I have a blog?  Seriously?  Yeah... sorry to my three followers for the lack of posts.  Also, I'm in a pissy mood today so forgive me for that too. 

My friends are pissing me off.  Why do I attract drama queens?  I'm a chilled, laid back girl and just like to have fun!  I ask my best girl to hang out and she denies me every single time.  She pulls retarded excuses out of her ass.  I'd rather her say she just doesn't want to.  G and I have just decided to quit making an effort anymore.  It's not worth the drama!  It's like everything that they do HAS to be made into some freaking production!  Stop thinking and start drinking, people!  Just let go for once in your fucking life!  You would have thought I was asking her to sacrifice her first born when I suggested going to a strip club!  Am I the only girl out there that doesn't mind going to strip clubs with my guy?  If that's not your thing, I totally understand.  I'm not the type to pressure you into having fun doing something you aren't comfortable doing.  BUT at least come to our house and hang out before we go??  I'm not trying to be selfish, I just want to hang out with my friends.  It seem like whenever THEY have a party, we don't hesitate one bit!  We are for sure clearing a spot in our calendar and WILL BE THERE.  Whenever G and I have a party, nobody comes.  Ever.  Nobody.  Bitches.  I need new friends.  Do they sell those on eBay?

On a happy note, I've reached my goal weight... for now.  I'm been struggling with this last 1½ pounds for what seems like forever!  I did what any normal person would do... I got trashed on rum and had sex with G all night... BAM!  Pound and a half gone!  Actually, I weighed myself on Saturday morning and was still up a half pound so I propositioned G again and as luck would have it, I'm at my goal weight!  Then, I fed my hangover all weekend and have been scared to face the scales again. 

My eyes are burning like they want to go back to sleep... I hate Mondays. 

A conversation with an idiot often ends with a medical diagnosis

As I sit diligently working, importing... exporting... yada, yada, yada, I get an email!  Woo-hoo!  A break in the monotony that is my day!  As you read through these emails, please take note of the times on each one.

From: Joni

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 11:05 AM
To: Gia
Subject: Order


Hi, Gia,


I don't want to be a pest, but...is there a chance that our order will be ready to be picked up today?


Thanks,
Joni

.................

You are a pest...

.................

From: Gia

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 11:08 AM
To: Joni
Subject: RE: Order

Joni,

He is preparing them right now. I'll have him call you when they are ready.

Gia

.................
From: Joni

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:27 PM
To: Gia
Subject: RE: Order


Is it ready yet?

.................

From: Joni
Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:29 PM

To: Gia
Subject: RE: Order

I meant is it ready yet? :-)

.................

Are you really serious??  Like, not even a, "Hey!  I know you are all important and busy and stuff, but might I bother you for just a second?"

.................

From: Gia

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:31 PM
To: Joni
Subject: RE: Order

We will call you when they are ready.

.................

From: Joni

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:50 PM
To: Gia
Subject: RE: Order


Okay. I am sorry to keep bothering you, but I want to get started on that. Do you think I will be able to pick them up around 3:00?

.................

Sorry?  Really?  That is what you call your constant nagging?

.................

From: Gia

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:56 PM
To: Joni
Subject: RE: Order

They will be ready tomorrow. We will call you when they are done.

.................

From: Joni

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 1:58 PM
To: Gia
Subject: RE: Order


Tomorrow morning?
.................

We will effing call you when they are done, goddammit!! 

.................

From: Joni

Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 2:04 PM
To: Gia
Subject: RE: Order

Gia,


I will be out tomorrow (that's partly why I was so anxious to get them today), so please call Mary (she will answer the phone) in the morning. But, since I will be out, please don't e-mail me.


Thank you so much for being patient with me. I know I have obsessive/compulsive disorder!


Joni